The Fugue Counterpoint by Hans Fugal

An English Muffin Investigation

Recipe writers of the world, pay attention! This is an English Muffin (Thomas brand):

See those big holes? ("Nooks and crannies") See how they're not just holes, they're big holes? It ain't an English Muffin unless it has those big holes. I've tried a few recipes and passed on others that look like more of the same. I get results that range from "thick pancakes" to "bread". Some had a few itty bitty bubbles. None were anywhere close to the real thing. This photo is typical of the results I've gotten (the ones that ended up edible in the first place). The ones on the left are real, the ones on the thick sweet pancake things I made.

Now, I'm going to do something unheard of right here on this very blog. I'm going to apply science! We're going to figure out what a successful recipe would have to look like. In part two, I will share with you the recipe that actually works.

Look at those pictures again. I want to point out a few important features. First, the bottom of the muffin is flatter than the top, and evenly brown. Also, it's coated with farina. Second, the top is uneven but also browned. Third, the muffin is not perfectly round, and the sides are not neatly vertical. Finally, there's some creases on the side that almost look like folding.

Here's what these clues tell me. The imperfect circle and sloping sides rule out a batter baked in a ring. Sorry, AB. The flat bottom and browned but not flat top tells us they're cooked on a griddle not baked in an oven—this is one thing most recipes get right. (Actually, this article about Thomas' oven alludes to a brick oven—perhaps they were cooked in a brick oven and flipped. That wouldn't be entirely unlike cooking on a griddle but it could have implications. Something to keep in mind.)

The fact that they are good circles and the bottom is so neatly flat, and not too tall, tells me the dough is quite slack. Maybe even a thick batter. But the farina coating I think is a telling sign. I bet they proof the dough and the farina makes it easy to get the muffin onto the griddle without collapsing it (similar to what you do to keep pizza from sticking to the peel). Of course the biggest hint for a slack dough is the big holes. You don't get holes like that from a stiff dough, and probably not easily from a batter. Holes in a batter, e.g. introduced by baking powder, give you pancake-like texture. These holes are more like artisan bread holes. These are holes you get from gluten structure and yeast. Another good hint is this quote from the Thomas FAQ:

What is on the bottom of our Thomas’ English Muffins?
The small white particles on the bottom of THOMAS'® English Muffins are farina. This is used to prevent the doughball from sticking to the oven plate and also to give the product its unique taste.

The creases are probably from when they're flipped. The uneven texture means the top wasn't liquid, but the creases mean it wasn't quite cooked through when turned.

Finally let's consider taste. (You'll have to take my word for it, I can't take pictures of taste.) They taste more or less like bread. Not a sweet bread, not a rich bread, not a sour bread. Just bread. They're a little chewy but not like a bagel. Although they're not sour, there are some subtle sour notes especially when toasted. This isn't surprising if you look at the ingredients list:

INGREDIENTS: UNBLEACHED ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR [...], WATER, FARINA, YEAST, SUGAR, SALT, SOYBEAN OIL, PRESERVATIVES (...), GRAIN VINEGAR, MONOGLYCERIDES, NONFAT MILK, SOY FLOUR, WHEY.

So we have a little vinegar for sourness, but it's not much. Nor do we have much sugar or oil or even milk. Mostly just flour and water. Remember the ingredients list is in order of quantity, and salt is on the order of 2% of the flour quantity, and the only farina is what you find on the bottom of the muffin.

The nutritional information indicates not very much fat (1g per muffin), nor sugar (1g per muffin). The milk is probably there simply for its help in giving a nice golden brown color, and the little bit of sugar to encourage the yeast.

That said, as long as they're not a sweet or rich bread I'm not concerned about the taste. It's the texture that matters. I think sourdough English Muffins would be superb.

So there you have it. My disclaimer is that I haven't yet made a decent English Muffin, only bad ones. Some people seem to be very happy with the recipes I've tried, even claiming they have nooks and crannies. I don't know if their standards for bubble size are lower, or if I just fail. What do you think?