The Fugue

I think I’ve posted on this before, but I want to post my method for weight loss again, and try to do it in as few words as possible this time. If you want more information about the principles upon which I based this method, read Total Fitness in 30 Minutes a Week by Laurence Morehouse, and The Hacker’s Diet by John Walker.

First, why you should care: I lost 40 pounds eating whatever I wanted and have kept it off even after joining Facebook and eating up to 3 meals a day at the gourmet buffet plus micro kitchens.

Second, why you may not care: you want to lose more than 2 lb / week (good luck with that) or you are a masochist.

Here’s what you need: a piece of graph paper, a pencil, and a bathroom scale (digital is best). Oh, and a little patience and a small amount of willpower (much less than your average diet requires). To set up all you need to do is draw a line in the corner that goes over 5 squares and down 1 square for a weight loss rate of 1 pound per 5 days, you can choose any weight loss or gain rate that you want as long as it’s not more than 2 pounds per week. Obviously, the faster you lose the more willpower you need, but no matter how much willpower you have it won’t work if you go much over 2 pounds per week.

Here’s what you do every day: just after you wake up you use the bathroom and then step on the scale—before eating or drinking anything. Mark your weight on the graph paper. Then, imagine the line that best fits the marks for the past 5 days (least squares fit for you mathy types).

Is that line sloping down more steeply than your reference line? Congratulations: you can eat as much of anything you want today. Don’t gorge yourself, but don’t fret it. Want that ice cream? Go for it. Candy bar? Sure. Triple burger with guacamole? Ok, but think about making it a double man.

Is that line flatter than your reference line (or going up)? Then today you still get to eat (almost) whatever you want! But, we need to restrict quantity. In specific, we need to eat about 500–800 calories less than your normal intake. You can accomplish this easily by eating smaller portions at meals and skipping dessert.

That’s it. Fast forward 1 year and if you have stuck with the plan you will have lost as much as 70 pounds. But we know life (and holidays) happens, so be realistic and figure you’ll fall off the horse a few times. No big deal, this system is designed to keep your morale up and recover gracefully. To be safe, expect 40 pounds per year, then be pleasantly surprised.

There is no correlation between what you eat today and what you weigh tomorrow. Well that’s technically a lie, but there are much bigger effects than what you ate. Your weight will fluctuate as much as 2 lb due to various effects. You have no control over this. The method is not relying on any correlation between today’s diet and tomorrow’s weight. It is relying on the long-term effects of eating smaller portions approximately half the days (maybe even less). If you weigh more today it doesn’t mean you failed yesterday! If you weigh less today it doesn’t mean you succeeded yesterday! You have to take the long-term view and just stick with the program.

Now some short notes. First, exercise is a good idea. No, a great idea. Although it’s not essential to this plan, I think you’ll find it helps you with appetite control and to just feel better all-around. Second, eating healthy doesn’t hurt either, obviously.